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‘Varsity Blues’ With Bill Simmons, Shea Serrano, Jason Concepcion, and Mallory Rubin

February 3, 2018 · Varsity Blues (1999) · Comedy · Drama · Romance · 52:50

IMDb ↗Letterboxd ↗

Categories

Dion Waiters Award

Bill Simmons▶ 12:55Scott Caan — Agrees with Ali Larter but highlights Scott Caan as Tweeter as worthy, saying he could have been spun off into his own sitcom
Jason Concepcion▶ 11:13Ali Larter — Agrees with Ali Larter choice and discusses her memorable scenes extensively
Mallory Rubin▶ 11:09Ali Larter — Ali Larter - 'What is a bigger heat check than the whipped cream bikini? Nothing.'
Shea Serrano▶ 11:03Ali Larter — Ali Larter - 'That's a clutch way to come into a movie'

Most Rewatchable Scene

Bill Simmons▶ 15:20Lists multiple nominees but settles on the locker room fight scene where the team turns on Coach Kilmer
Jason Concepcion▶ 14:09The locker room fight scene where the team rebels against Coach Kilmer
Mallory Rubin▶ 13:56The whipped cream bikini scene
Shea Serrano▶ 14:12The locker room fight scene when the team rebels against Coach Kilmer

Overacting Award

Bill Simmons▶ 15:43The 'I don't want your life' scene between Mox and his father
Jason Concepcion▶ 15:57Commented on the tough Texas accents in the movie and participated in reenacting scenes but didn't give a specific pick
Mallory Rubin▶ 18:32The scene where the dads are trying to get the boys to throw the ball
Shea Serrano▶ 16:02Discussed Paul Walker's thick Texas accent in early scenes and participated in reenacting the father-son scene but didn't give a clear pick

What's Aged the Best

Bill Simmons▶ 21:15The concussions storyline and the phenomenal late 90s soundtrack
Jason Concepcion▶ 23:07The football scenes
Mallory Rubin▶ 23:13The spread offense
Shea Serrano▶ 23:29Football is the best sport to film in a movie

What's Aged the Worst

Bill Simmons▶ 29:18Vanderbeek's Texas accent as unintentional comedy
Mallory Rubin▶ 27:45Concussion protocol - specifically how the 'smart' character Mox thinks true/false questions are an effective concussion test
Shea Serrano▶ 28:26Tweeter character - particularly his song lyric about breaking a girl's jaw and multiple problematic elements

Half-Assed Internet Research

Bill Simmons▶ 30:39Presents various trivia facts including 40% Rotten Tomatoes rating, Roger Ebert's criticism lacks merit, James Van Der Beek won Teen Choice and MTV Movie Awards, shaving cream was used instead of whipped cream for Ali Larter, Billy Bob tore his patella tendon during filming, Mox wore #4 because Van Der Beek's favorite player was Brett Favre, and confirms you can steal police cars in Texas towns
Mallory Rubin▶ 32:37Corrects Bill's trivia by stating Billy Bob was 47 when he died, not 38 during filming
Shea Serrano▶ 33:59Questions whether whipped cream sticking issue is specific to Ali Larter, shares personal football story about deliberately not catching a pass in seventh grade, and confirms there are Texas towns where you could get away with stealing police cars

Apex Mountain

Bill Simmons▶ 34:13James Van Der Beek — Yes for James Van Der Beek (Dawson's Creek + Teen Choice/MTV awards), No for Scott Caan (Hawaii Five-0 later), No for Ali Larter (Final Destination/Heroes later), No for John Voight (Oscar winner), Yes for Billy Bob Thornton, No for Paul Walker (Fast & Furious later)
Jason Concepcion▶ 34:23James Van Der Beek — No for James Van Der Beek - his meme career was more impactful than this period
Mallory Rubin▶ 34:31James Van Der Beek — No for James Van Der Beek - the later Dawson's Creek years were his apex
Shea Serrano▶ 34:59Jon Voight — No for Ali Larter (Final Destination/fighting Beyoncé/Heroes later), Yes for John Voight jokingly (Anaconda as apex), praised Paul Walker's performance in this movie

Best Quote

Bill Simmons▶ 41:25Multiple quotes including 'I'm back', 'Puke and rally', 'I usually fall for the whipped cream bikini every time', 'Your daddy was a no-town pussy, but at least he listened', and 'We've got the rest of our lives to be mediocre. We have the rest of this half to be gods'
Mallory Rubin▶ 42:46The series of euphemisms for male arousal: 'Pitching a tent. Sporting wood. The icicle is formed. The march is on. Stiff... Rigor mortis is set in. Mr. Mushroom Head... Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger'
Shea Serrano▶ 42:21Discussed the context and impact of the 'rest of our lives to be mediocre' speech but didn't offer a specific alternative quote pick

Probably Unanswerable Questions

Bill Simmons▶ 44:32Coach Kilmer never coached again - No, doesn't believe it
Jason Concepcion▶ 44:33Coach Kilmer never coached again - Yes, believes it in the fictional universe because he was outed as a white supremacist
Mallory Rubin▶ 44:42Coach Kilmer never coached again - No, doesn't believe player rebellion would prevent him getting another job, but his poor record (only 2 titles in 30 years) would
Shea Serrano▶ 44:58Coach Kilmer is still coaching - went two towns over and nobody knew because this was 1999 without internet

Who Won the Movie

Bill Simmons▶ 47:29James Van Der Beek — Vanderbeek
Shea Serrano▶ 47:31James Van Der Beek — Vanderbeek - agrees he's surprisingly good, charming, confident, and talented

Movies Referenced (18)

Friday Night Lights (2004)

9 mentions · Bill Simmons, Shea Serrano, Mallory Rubin▶ 1:04IMDb ↗Lb ↗

American Pie (1999)

2 mentions · Mallory Rubin▶ 3:53IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Crank (2006)

2 mentions · Bill Simmons▶ 9:02IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Summer Catch (2001)

2 mentions · Bill Simmons▶ 24:05IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Any Given Sunday (1999)

1 mentions · Bill Simmons▶ 2:23IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Can't Hardly Wait (1998)

1 mentions · Bill Simmons▶ 2:35IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Do the Right Thing (1989)

1 mentions · ▶ 1:42IMDb ↗Lb ↗

For Love of the Game (1999)

1 mentions · Bill Simmons▶ 2:23IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Good Will Hunting (1997)

1 mentions · Bill Simmons▶ 51:16IMDb ↗Lb ↗

He Got Game (1998)

1 mentions · Bill Simmons▶ 2:23IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Miami Vice (2006)

1 mentions · Bill Simmons▶ 52:43IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Midnight Cowboy (1969)

1 mentions · Bill Simmons▶ 35:10IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Directors Referenced (2)

Brian Robbins

1 mentions · Bill Simmons▶ 24:01IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Scott Conn

1 mentions · Bill Simmons · Known for Predators, Machete▶ 12:55IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Actors Referenced (33)

James Van Der Beek

16 mentions · Bill Simmons, Jason Concepcion, Shea Serrano · Known for Varsity Blues, The Rules of Attraction▶ 1:51IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Paul Walker

14 mentions · Shea Serrano, Bill Simmons · Known for The Fast and the Furious, Furious 7, Running Scared▶ 4:47IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Geoffrey Larder

11 mentions · Bill Simmons, Shea Serrano, Jason Concepcion · Known for Mona Lisa▶ 4:14IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Amy Smart

6 mentions · Bill Simmons · Known for Starship Troopers, Crank, Rat Race▶ 8:48IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Mark Ruffalo

4 mentions · Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin · Known for Spotlight, The Kids Are All Right, The Avengers▶ 15:28IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Danny Trejo

3 mentions · Shea Serrano, Bill Simmons · Known for Machete, From Dusk Till Dawn, Predators▶ 40:52IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Jon Voight

3 mentions · Bill Simmons, Jason Concepcion · Known for Midnight Cowboy, Anaconda, Deliverance▶ 6:24IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Smash Mouth

3 mentions · Bill Simmons, Shea Serrano · Known for Wild Things▶ 49:39IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Billy Zane

2 mentions · Bill Simmons · Known for Titanic, Dead Calm▶ 6:42IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Charlie Sheen

2 mentions · Bill Simmons · Known for Wall Street▶ 8:24IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Collective Soul

2 mentions · Bill Simmons · Known for Twilight▶ 22:55IMDb ↗Lb ↗

The Game

2 mentions · Bill Simmons, Mallory Rubin · Known for Street Kings, The A-Team, Coach Carter▶ 2:23IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Writers Referenced (2)

Jason Street

5 mentions · Bill Simmons▶ 49:39IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Roger Ebert

1 mentions · Bill Simmons▶ 30:56IMDb ↗Lb ↗