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‘Tango and Cash’ With Bill Simmons and Shea Serrano

August 30, 2022 · Tango & Cash (1989) · Action · Comedy · Crime · 1:23:55

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Most Rewatchable Scene

Bill Simmons▶ 20:11Discusses multiple scenes as rewatchable: the opening scene with highway shooting and Rambo reference, the prison electrocution scene, the prison escape with double cross, and the strip joint scene

Den of Thieves Benihana Award

Bill Simmons▶ 41:19Palance's bad guy lair
Shea Serrano▶ 42:02The prison

Probably Unanswerable Questions

Bill Simmons▶ 42:34The mouse thing was a happy accident
Shea Serrano▶ 42:10Did he build the mouse maze specifically to do this metaphor with Tango and Cash as the mice when he puts them in there?

Butch's Girlfriend Award

Bill Simmons▶ 42:48The premise that everyone immediately believes Tango and Cash were dirty cops despite being super cops who only did good things for LA
Shea Serrano▶ 43:15Agrees with Bill's assessment that everyone turns on the hero cops immediately

Is There a Better Title?

Bill Simmons▶ 47:43No fucking way - Tango and Cash is perfect
Shea Serrano▶ 47:45This title is great - Tango and Cash

Best Quote

Bill Simmons▶ 48:07I want to get killed by an American jerk off

Stephen A. Smith Hottest Take Award

Bill Simmons▶ 48:25The fact that there was no Tango and Cash sequel is an outrage, especially when inferior movies got sequels in the 80s and 90s
Shea Serrano▶ 50:00Tango and Cash is the second best buddy cop movie of the 80s, only behind Beverly Hills Cop

Teddy KGB Award

Bill Simmons▶ 58:13He wins the Teddy KGB actor doing his own thing award

Overacting Award

Bill Simmons▶ 58:23Jack Palance — Jack Palance - wins the overacting award for his exaggerated performance throughout the movie
Shea Serrano▶ 59:12Jack Palance — Jack Palance - agrees he maintains the over-the-top character even until death, throwing out riddles and jokes

Casting What-Ifs

Bill Simmons▶ 1:03:08Bruce Willis — Suggests Bruce Willis could replace Stallone as Tango, playing the rich prick/stockbroker character. Also mentions Michael Douglas and considers Schwarzenegger briefly but ultimately keeps Stallone
Shea Serrano▶ 1:03:53Harrison Ford — Harrison Ford as Tango, comparing him to his Wall Street character from Regarding Henry. Also agrees Michael Douglas could work, calling him Gordon Gekko

Apex Mountain

Bill Simmons▶ 1:07:37Lock Up — Not Stallone or Kurt Russell for this movie; Lethal Weapon rip-offs apex mountain; Cross the beam moments very high; Lock Up over this for Stallone prison movies
Shea Serrano▶ 1:08:17Lock Up — Not apex mountain for anybody in the movie except maybe Face; Lock Up better than this for Stallone prison movies; Cross the beam moment might be apex mountain for meta moments

Racehorse Name Award

Bill Simmons▶ 1:11:11Presents three options: Ray Tango, Tango and Cash, and just Tango, but doesn't give his own definitive pick
Shea Serrano▶ 1:11:19Just Tango

Picking Nits

Bill Simmons▶ 1:13:38Jack Pounce's office is in this quarry in the middle of nowhere - he has to drive 35 minutes plus 10 minutes just in the quarry to get to his secretly living warehouse
Shea Serrano▶ 1:13:28This whole movie is like one long picking nit, which is my favorite part

Is This Movie Better With

Bill Simmons▶ 1:16:57Steve Buscemi — Steve Buscemi - says young Buscemi would have been really good and made sense, suggests he could be Face's sidekick
Shea Serrano▶ 1:17:09Steve Buscemi — Steve Buscemi - agrees and suggests he plays Clint Howard's prisoner character with a few more lines

Just One Oscar

Bill Simmons▶ 1:17:21Best Director, because three different directors accepting the award would have been hilarious

Best Double Feature

Bill Simmons▶ 1:19:08Lock Up — Lockup - pairing two 1989 Stallone prison movies, watching Tango and Cash first then Lockup
Shea Serrano▶ 1:19:19Lock Up — Agrees with Lockup pairing, suggesting to watch Tango and Cash first then Lockup as it gets darker, pretending Tango is now in prison

Coach Finstock Life Lesson

Shea Serrano▶ 1:20:08The scene where they jump to grab the power line and Cash explains you won't get electrocuted if your feet aren't touching the ground

Who Won the Movie

Bill Simmons▶ 1:20:44Kurt Russell
Shea Serrano▶ 1:20:40Kurt Russell

Movies Referenced (45)

Lethal Weapon (1987)

10 mentions · Bill Simmons, Shea Serrano▶ 4:09IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Heat (1995)

8 mentions · Shea Serrano, Bill Simmons▶ 1:15:08IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Rambo (2008)

8 mentions · Bill Simmons, Shea Serrano▶ 7:55IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Lock Up (1989)

7 mentions · Shea Serrano, Bill Simmons▶ 12:19IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Running Scared (2006)

6 mentions · Bill Simmons, Shea Serrano▶ 50:33IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Bullet Train (2022)

4 mentions · Bill Simmons▶ 1:22:55IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Beverly Hills Cop (1984)

3 mentions · Bill Simmons, Shea Serrano▶ 6:45IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Die Hard (1988)

3 mentions · Bill Simmons▶ 14:13IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Maniac Cop (1988)

3 mentions · Bill Simmons, Shea Serrano▶ 1:00:20IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Predator (1987)

3 mentions · Shea Serrano, Bill Simmons▶ 56:25IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Big Trouble in Little China (1986)

2 mentions · Bill Simmons, Shea Serrano▶ 13:35IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Chronicle (2012)

2 mentions · Bill Simmons▶ 43:44IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Directors Referenced (7)

Mel Gibson

3 mentions · Bill Simmons · Known for Braveheart, Conspiracy Theory▶ 4:15IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Adolfo Quinones

1 mentions · Shea Serrano · Known for Tango & Cash▶ 1:00:32IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Albert Magnoli

1 mentions · Bill Simmons · Known for Purple Rain▶ 16:05IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Barry Sonnenfeld

1 mentions · Bill Simmons · Known for Men in Black, Wild Wild West▶ 58:01IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Michael Mann

1 mentions · Shea Serrano · Known for The Insider, Collateral, The Last of the Mohicans▶ 1:15:02IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Peter McDonald

1 mentions · Bill Simmons · Known for The Batman▶ 16:05IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Sean Penn

1 mentions · Bill Simmons · Known for Mystic River, 21 Grams, Dead Man Walking▶ 45:03IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Actors Referenced (45)

Sylvester Stallone

41 mentions · Bill Simmons, Shea Serrano · Known for Rocky, Rocky IV, Creed▶ 2:22IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Kurt Russell

35 mentions · Bill Simmons, Shea Serrano · Known for Escape from New York, The Hateful Eight▶ 2:22IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Jack Palance

15 mentions · Bill Simmons, Shea Serrano · Known for City Slickers▶ 18:37IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Patrick Swayze

12 mentions · Bill Simmons, Shea Serrano · Known for Dirty Dancing, Ghost, Point Break▶ 38:14IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Bruce Willis

9 mentions · Bill Simmons, Shea Serrano · Known for Die Hard, Pulp Fiction▶ 14:17IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Arnold Schwarzenegger

6 mentions · Bill Simmons, Shea Serrano · Known for Terminator 2: Judgment Day, The Terminator▶ 29:10IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Brad Pitt

6 mentions · Bill Simmons · Known for Fight Club, 12 Monkeys, Mr. & Mrs. Smith▶ 22:50IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Brian James

4 mentions · Bill Simmons · Known for A Cry in the Dark▶ 29:00IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Harrison Ford

4 mentions · Shea Serrano, Bill Simmons · Known for Raiders of the Lost Ark, Star Wars: Episode IV - A New Hope, The Fugitive▶ 1:03:53IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Denzel Washington

3 mentions · Bill Simmons, Shea Serrano▶ 14:40IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Jean-Claude Van Damme

3 mentions · Shea Serrano, Bill Simmons · Known for Double Impact, Double Team▶ 7:35IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Jimmy Smits

3 mentions · Bill Simmons · Known for In the Heights▶ 51:43IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Writers Referenced (3)

Roger Ebert

4 mentions · Bill Simmons▶ 17:49IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Randy Feldman

2 mentions · Bill Simmons · Known for Tango & Cash▶ 27:14IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Robert Towne

2 mentions · Bill Simmons · Known for Chinatown, Mission: Impossible, The Last Detail▶ 13:54IMDb ↗Lb ↗