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‘Rocky IV’ With Bill Simmons, Cousin Sal, and Kyle Brandt

January 4, 2022 · Rocky IV (1985) · Drama · Sport · 1:43:08

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Probably Unanswerable Questions

Bill Simmons▶ 22:01Warner Wolf's best line - 'I can't get over the size of this Russian' as one of the iconic lines he and his friend would quote
Cousin Sal▶ 20:30Was it East versus West or man against man - says it was man against man, citing Rocky's question to Apollo about whether it's him against Drago or him against himself
Kyle Brandt▶ 14:09How long were they in Russia - thinks it was 6-7 weeks based on Rocky's beard growth

Most Rewatchable Scene

Bill Simmons▶ 33:16The two training sequences together

What's Aged the Best

Bill Simmons▶ 1:01:00The over-the-top steroids natural montage, high-tech sporting equipment being ahead of its time, 31.9% of the movie being montages, and Ivan Drago as his final pick
Cousin Sal▶ 1:00:27The opening credits (agreeing with another host's pick)
Kyle Brandt▶ 1:00:03The opening credits with the two boxing gloves (Soviet and American) smashing into each other

What's Aged the Worst

Bill Simmons▶ 1:01:04Multiple picks including: the patriotism feeling harder to identify with in 2020's splintered nation, Rocky movies starting with recaps from previous films, Sickle the robot (though he's pro-robot), sloppy SI magazine covers, Rocky as a terrible trainer who froze during Apollo's death, Brigitte's Russian accent, and Stallone/Nielsen's short-lived marriage
Cousin Sal▶ 1:01:57Multiple picks including: the trope of characters accidentally catching bad news on TV (Apollo by the pool scene), Pauly's inappropriate dialogue with the robot that wouldn't fly in 2020, and Rocky's poor performance as Apollo's trainer
Kyle Brandt▶ 1:03:22Pauly making love to the robot and his creepy sexual dialogue about getting the robot's wires tied so she doesn't get pregnant

Joey Pants Award

Bill Simmons▶ 1:09:55Michael Pataki — Michael Pataki (Nikolai, Drago's trainer)
Cousin Sal▶ 1:10:12Michael Pataki — Agrees with Michael Pataki choice, noting he 'does look like that guy' and appears in Night Shift

Half-Assed Internet Research

Bill Simmons▶ 1:13:32Shared multiple trivia facts: Stallone nearly died from Dolph's punch causing heart swelling and 200+ blood pressure, production stopped 3 weeks; Carl Weathers almost walked off due to Dolph being too physical causing 4-day work stoppage; Italian dub changed 'I must break you' to 'te spiezo in due' which entered everyday speech; Russia scenes filmed in Wyoming, fight in Vancouver; Tony Burton beat Stanley Kubrick at chess on The Shining set
Cousin Sal▶ 1:13:57Added details about Stallone going from Canada to Santa Monica Hospital for 8 days, speculated the movie would make $500 million if incident happened today, discussed Carl Weathers beef with Lundgren and Stallone having to broker peace, compared 'I must break you' favorably to 'I'll break you in two'
Kyle Brandt▶ 1:15:25Joked about using 'te spiezo in due, bitch' for fantasy football matchups, said 'I must break you' is much better than 'I'll break you in two'

Apex Mountain

Bill Simmons▶ 1:16:18Sylvester Stallone — Yes for Sylvester Stallone (1985-86), Yes for Dolph Lundgren, Rocky III for Survivor, Yes for Warner Wolf, Yes for Barry Tompkins, Yes for sit-ups off the ceiling, Maybe for Russian national anthem, Yes for wet blanket sports movie wives, Yes for Tony Burton, No for James Brown, Yes for eerie evil 80s synthesizer music
Cousin Sal▶ 1:17:21Sylvester Stallone — Agrees on Stallone's apex being 1985-86, prefers Nikolai Volkov/Iron Sheik for Russian national anthem over this movie, agrees on wet blanket wives and sit-ups
Kyle Brandt▶ 1:16:42Sylvester Stallone — Agrees Stallone's 1985-86 apex, prefers Cuban Missile Crisis over Cold War generally, mentions Hunt for Red October and Nintendo ice hockey for Russian anthem, strongly agrees on wet blanket wives

Picking Nits

Bill Simmons▶ 1:24:27Multiple nits: Should Drago face murder charges? Soviet heavyweights weren't allowed to box professionals during Cold War. Missing boxing board scene likely cut due to Stallone's vanity. Time continuity issues with retirement/marriage timeline.
Cousin Sal▶ 1:25:14Paulie's physical comedy was weak (whipped cream and snow fall scenes). Time issues with Apollo possibly having other fights after Rocky 2. No doctors present at the fight.
Kyle Brandt▶ 1:24:43Drago shouldn't face murder charges, comparing it to Miles Garrett not getting assault charges for the helmet incident

Best Quote

Bill Simmons▶ 1:28:08Listed five options: 'Throw the damn towel', 'What started out as a joke has turned into a disaster', 'You can't win', 'He's chopping the Russian down', 'If I can change, you can change. Everyone can change'
Cousin Sal▶ 1:28:34Throw the damn towel
Kyle Brandt▶ 1:28:21Throw the damn towel

Who Won the Movie

Bill Simmons▶ 1:41:26Dolph Lundgren — Ivan Drago (choosing between Drago and America as final options)
Cousin Sal▶ 1:41:02Dolph Lundgren — Dolph Lundgren as Ivan Drago (calling him top 3-4 movie villain of all time)
Kyle Brandt▶ 1:40:24Dolph Lundgren — Dolph Lundgren as Ivan Drago

Movies Referenced (32)

Rocky III (1982)

8 mentions · Bill Simmons, Cousin Sal, Kyle Brandt▶ 4:42IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Beverly Hills Cop (1984)

2 mentions · Bill Simmons▶ 1:07:49IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Can't Buy Me Love (1987)

2 mentions · Bill Simmons▶ 51:13IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Fargo (1996)

2 mentions · Bill Simmons▶ 54:32IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Halloween (1978)

2 mentions · Kyle Brandt▶ 1:23:23IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Heat (1995)

2 mentions · Kyle Brandt▶ 15:54IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Hugo (2011)

2 mentions · Bill Simmons▶ 12:37IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Night Shift (1982)

2 mentions · Cousin Sal▶ 1:10:14IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Point Break (1991)

2 mentions · Kyle Brandt, Bill Simmons▶ 5:12IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Rambo (2008)

2 mentions · Bill Simmons, Kyle Brandt▶ 1:16:10IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Red Dawn (2012)

2 mentions · Kyle Brandt, Cousin Sal▶ 1:17:56IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Rocky Balboa (2006)

2 mentions · Kyle Brandt▶ 47:33IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Directors Referenced (2)

Ron Howard

1 mentions · Bill Simmons · Known for A Beautiful Mind▶ 18:39IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Stanley Kubrick

1 mentions · Bill Simmons · Known for 2001: A Space Odyssey, A Clockwork Orange, Barry Lyndon▶ 1:15:51IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Actors Referenced (45)

Dolph Lundgren

15 mentions · Bill Simmons, Cousin Sal, Kyle Brandt · Known for Rocky IV, Masters of the Universe▶ 9:27IMDb ↗Lb ↗

James Brown

14 mentions · Bill Simmons, Cousin Sal, Kyle Brandt · Known for The Blues Brothers, Django Unchained▶ 34:25IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Warner Wolf

10 mentions · Bill Simmons, Cousin Sal, Kyle Brandt · Known for Rocky IV, How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days▶ 21:23IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Carl Weathers

7 mentions · Cousin Sal, Bill Simmons, Kyle Brandt · Known for Rocky, Predator, Happy Gilmore▶ 20:53IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Brigitte Nielsen

6 mentions · Bill Simmons, Cousin Sal · Known for Red Sonja▶ 9:41IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Eddie Murphy

6 mentions · Bill Simmons, Cousin Sal · Known for Harlem Nights, The Nutty Professor▶ 18:24IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Frank Stallone

6 mentions · Cousin Sal, Bill Simmons · Known for Rambo: First Blood Part II, Hudson Hawk, Staying Alive▶ 17:43IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Robert Tepper

6 mentions · Bill Simmons, Cousin Sal, Kyle Brandt · Known for Cobra, Get Hard▶ 15:58IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Barry Tompkins

5 mentions · Bill Simmons · Known for Rocky IV▶ 47:56IMDb ↗Lb ↗

John Cafferty

5 mentions · Bill Simmons · Known for Cobra, There's Something About Mary, Rocky IV▶ 10:26IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Arnold Schwarzenegger

4 mentions · Kyle Brandt · Known for Terminator 2: Judgment Day, The Terminator▶ 48:38IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Burt Young

4 mentions · Cousin Sal, Kyle Brandt · Known for Rocky, Rocky Balboa, Rocky IV▶ 11:04IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Writers Referenced (1)

Roger Ebert

1 mentions · Bill Simmons▶ 27:24IMDb ↗Lb ↗