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‘Road House’ With Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, and Kyle Brandt

March 5, 2024 · Road House (1989) · Action · Thriller · 2:02:40

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Most Rewatchable Scene

Bill Simmons▶ 30:48Discusses multiple scenes including Dalton showing up at the Double Deuce, the three rules scene, and Dalton getting stitched up by Dr. Kelly Lynch, but doesn't pick one definitive scene

Apex Mountain

Kyle Brandt▶ 40:35Drombouille (the liquor/spirit)

Probably Unanswerable Questions

Bill Simmons▶ 58:58Dalton's name is his last name and he dropped his first name because it wasn't badass enough, like Robert Dalton or Tristan Dalton
Chris Ryan▶ 58:54Dalton is like Prince or Cher - just one name
Kyle Brandt▶ 58:36It's his first name

Big Kahuna Burger Award

Bill Simmons▶ 1:02:40any of the 20 beer bottles broken over someone's head
Chris Ryan▶ 1:03:05the morning beers that Wade and Dalton are having with Elizabeth at that diner
Kyle Brandt▶ 1:02:45breakfast at the Wesley's

Den of Thieves Benihana Award

Bill Simmons▶ 1:04:00Wesley's house / the whole lake compound where Brad Wesley and Emmett live

Butch's Girlfriend Award

Bill Simmons▶ 1:06:52There's just no police in this town
Chris Ryan▶ 1:07:05The lack of any kind of cursory law enforcement showing up to any of these fights anywhere
Kyle Brandt▶ 1:07:13Agrees with the lack of police response, noting how ridiculous it is that only one sheriff shows up at the end when there are multiple bodies

Great Shot Gordo Award

Kyle Brandt▶ 1:08:44The shot where 50% of the screen is pubic hair

Is There a Better Title?

Bill Simmons▶ 1:18:14The Double Deuce
Kyle Brandt▶ 1:18:47The Double Deuce

Stephen A. Smith Hottest Take Award

Bill Simmons▶ 1:22:02Brad Wesley kind of had a point - he created the town, brought commerce, served in Korea, and maybe cared about Jasper just a little too much
Chris Ryan▶ 1:18:56I prefer the old Double Deuce, and I think Dalton is a gentrifier who turned it into basically a TGI Fridays
Kyle Brandt▶ 1:20:04The line 'I used to fuck guys like you in prison' is the greatest line ever uttered by a villain in any movie ever

Overacting Award

Bill Simmons▶ 1:25:42Ben Gazzara — Quoting dialogue from what appears to be an overacted scene: 'Don't you call me lady... I treated you like a son. You fucking stabbed me in the heart. Fuck you.'

Teddy KGB Award

Bill Simmons▶ 1:26:00Ben Gazzara — Ben Gazzara's Brad Wesley
Chris Ryan▶ 1:26:04Patrick Swayze — Pat Swayze overacting when dragging Jimmy's dead body into the lake and yelling 'Wesley!'
Kyle Brandt▶ 1:26:13Kelly Lynch — Kelly Lynch for 'Who's going to save him from you?' line

Dion Waiters Award

Bill Simmons▶ 1:27:17Jimmy Reno — Jimmy Reno, the prison rapist
Chris Ryan▶ 1:27:19Jimmy (agrees with Bill's pick)
Kyle Brandt▶ 1:28:00Dawn Ciccone — Dawn Ciccone (shout out for her one-and-done role as 'regular Saturday night thing in the closet')

Casting What-Ifs

Bill Simmons▶ 1:28:47Ronda Rousey — Mentions Ronda Rousey was set to star in 2015 remake before her loss to Holly Holm derailed it; discusses Jake Gyllenhaal remake affecting the legacy of original

Half-Assed Internet Research

Bill Simmons▶ 1:30:35Multiple research facts: Marshall Teague's mom's reaction at premiere, actors did own stunts, Sam Elliott quote about getting beat up, Benny the Jet trained them, monster truck was Bigfoot No. 7 costing $500k, Swayze smoked 60 cigarettes a day
Chris Ryan▶ 1:30:47Proposed creating 'I used to fuck guys like you in prison award' for best memory hole - lines you forget between viewings that shock you when rewatching
Kyle Brandt▶ 1:31:42Swayze was a very good high school quarterback with knee injury, compares him to Jake Plummer/Rich Gannon style scrambler with moxie and accuracy

What's Aged the Worst

Bill Simmons▶ 1:34:01Doesn't disagree with the smoking issue but instead praises Dalton as a 'Hall of Fame movie smoker' and discusses his smoking technique
Chris Ryan▶ 1:33:50Acknowledges Kyle's point but suggests the smoking might be justified by Dalton being in constant pain and having demons to feed
Kyle Brandt▶ 1:33:33Dalton being a mind/body/soul wellness guy who doesn't fly and drinks coffee at the bar, yet smokes Marlboro Reds constantly - the contradiction doesn't fit his character

Is This Movie Better With

Bill Simmons▶ 1:48:58Agrees they needed Byron Mayo, continues the threesome scenario
Chris Ryan▶ 1:48:34Byron Mayo should play Emmett and appear during the first sex scene between Clay and Dalton, suggesting a threesome

Just One Oscar

Bill Simmons▶ 1:49:27Ben Gazzara — Ben Gazzara for Best Supporting Actor as Brad Wesley
Chris Ryan▶ 1:49:16Stunt coordinator (acknowledging they don't give this as an Oscar)
Kyle Brandt▶ 1:49:41Ben Gazzara — Agreed with Bill's Ben Gazzara pick and discussed the Oscar clip would be the breakfast scene

Best Double Feature

Bill Simmons▶ 1:54:49Point Break — Point Break - double Swayze feature
Chris Ryan▶ 1:54:34Rolling Thunder — Rolling Thunder - 1970s grindhouse movie about Vietnam vet taking revenge
Kyle Brandt▶ 1:54:04Gladiator — Gladiator (1992, directed by Rowdy Harrington) - would do a Rowdy Harrington double feature

Coach Finstock Life Lesson

Bill Simmons▶ 1:57:20Pain don't hurt / Nobody wins in a fight / Be nice until it's time to not be nice
Kyle Brandt▶ 1:57:25Be nice

Movies Referenced (44)

Ghost (1990)

9 mentions · Bill Simmons▶ 14:47IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Dirty Dancing (1987)

7 mentions · Bill Simmons▶ 5:59IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Point Break (1991)

6 mentions · Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan▶ 8:41IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Die Hard (1988)

4 mentions · Kyle Brandt, Chris Ryan, Bill Simmons▶ 16:37IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Curly Sue (1991)

3 mentions · Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, Kyle Brandt▶ 20:23IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Gladiator (2000)

3 mentions · Kyle Brandt▶ 1:54:04IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Red Dawn (2012)

3 mentions · Bill Simmons▶ 5:59IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Apocalypse Now (1979)

2 mentions · Chris Ryan▶ 1:10:43IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Fargo (1996)

2 mentions · Bill Simmons▶ 1:01:47IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Heat (1995)

2 mentions · Chris Ryan, Bill Simmons▶ 1:05:32IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Predator (1987)

2 mentions · Bill Simmons, Kyle Brandt▶ 1:25:13IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Shooter (2007)

2 mentions · Bill Simmons▶ 54:07IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Directors Referenced (6)

Gary Hudson

3 mentions · Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan · Known for Road House▶ 1:26:37IMDb ↗Lb ↗

John Cassavetes

2 mentions · Chris Ryan, Bill Simmons · Known for Rosemary's Baby▶ 21:48IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Clint Eastwood

1 mentions · Bill Simmons · Known for Million Dollar Baby, Gran Torino, Unforgiven▶ 54:49IMDb ↗Lb ↗

John Carpenter

1 mentions · Chris Ryan · Known for Dark Star, Halloween▶ 8:08IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Michael Bay

1 mentions · Chris Ryan · Known for Armageddon▶ 1:28:41IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Walter Hill

1 mentions · Bill Simmons · Known for 48 Hrs., Aliens▶ 57:25IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Actors Referenced (83)

Patrick Swayze

45 mentions · Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, Kyle Brandt · Known for Dirty Dancing, Ghost, Point Break▶ 2:18IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Terry Funk

16 mentions · Bill Simmons, Kyle Brandt · Known for Road House, Over the Top▶ 33:03IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Kelly Lynch

15 mentions · Bill Simmons, Kyle Brandt · Known for Drugstore Cowboy, Road House, Charlie's Angels▶ 3:06IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Ben Gazzara

12 mentions · Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, Kyle Brandt · Known for Road House, Anatomy of a Murder, The Big Lebowski▶ 21:09IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Sam Elliott

10 mentions · Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan · Known for A Star Is Born, The Hero, Hulk▶ 56:00IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Keith David

8 mentions · Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan, Kyle Brandt · Known for They Live, Armageddon▶ 1:12:19IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Dawn Ciccone

7 mentions · Kyle Brandt, Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan · Known for Road House▶ 5:59IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Jake Gyllenhaal

7 mentions · Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan · Known for Nightcrawler, Brokeback Mountain, Donnie Darko▶ 37:31IMDb ↗Lb ↗

James Marshall

7 mentions · Bill Simmons, Kyle Brandt, Chris Ryan · Known for A Few Good Men▶ 42:13IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Mike Tyson

6 mentions · Chris Ryan, Kyle Brandt, Bill Simmons · Known for The Hangover▶ 50:47IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Annette Bening

5 mentions · Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan · Known for American Beauty, 20th Century Women▶ 1:23:31IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Jake Busey

5 mentions · Chris Ryan, Bill Simmons, Kyle Brandt · Known for Starship Troopers▶ 1:17:22IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Writers Referenced (9)

Jim Harrison

11 mentions · Chris Ryan, Bill Simmons, Kyle Brandt · Known for Legends of the Fall▶ 14:10IMDb ↗Lb ↗

David Mamet

2 mentions · Bill Simmons, Chris Ryan · Known for The Spanish Prisoner, House of Games▶ 37:26IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Julie Siege

2 mentions · Kyle Brandt▶ 32:07IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Roger Ebert

2 mentions · Bill Simmons▶ 28:12IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Andy Greenwald

1 mentions · Chris Ryan▶ 0:13IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Cormac McCarthy

1 mentions · Kyle Brandt · Known for The Road, No Country for Old Men▶ 1:38:41IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Jackie Files

1 mentions · Bill Simmons▶ 1:24:11IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Philip Roth

1 mentions · Chris Ryan▶ 32:29IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Qui Nguyen

1 mentions · Kyle Brandt▶ 54:43IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Cinematographers Referenced (3)

Dean Cundey

2 mentions · Chris Ryan · Known for Jurassic Park, Apollo 13, Who Framed Roger Rabbit▶ 8:08IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Frank Boone

2 mentions · Chris Ryan · Known for The Hunger Games, War of the Worlds▶ 1:29:47IMDb ↗Lb ↗

Michael Grantland

1 mentions · Bill Simmons · Known for The Other Guys▶ 27:49IMDb ↗Lb ↗